Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
