He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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