If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
