i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize