i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
