just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
