she was so not down for the gang bang
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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