you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
