have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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