Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
