Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
