i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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