RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
