found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
