i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So vagazzling was a success
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
