He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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