also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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