well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
