ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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