Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
