The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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