toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
