He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize