My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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