We're like a lot better than the average bears
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At least life still wants to fuck me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
