It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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