His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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