Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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