Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
