arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
