I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
