haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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