Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize