He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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