K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
