I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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