I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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