return my video game
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
