thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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