But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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