you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize