I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
