i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize