So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
there is glitter all over my balls
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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