I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I understand Curling. That high.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize