Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
don't judge my taste in strippers
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
