i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize