Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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