i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
