whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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