bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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