I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
