Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize