My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
