I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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