i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
